On the way home one evening, Jim Stevens congratulated himself for keeping his cool with that
"idiot" customer, Mr. Belinski. Jim is Service Manager at a car dealership, and a good one. He
listens to his customers and understands the problem before he agrees to the repairs.
This morning Mr. Belinski, one of his regulars, requested a certain repair to quiet a noise in his car.
Jim was certain the customer was wrong and the challenge to his expertise frustrated him. To
avoid a confrontation, however, Jim went ahead with the work order and when he assigned the job,
he told the mechanic how to correct the problem. Mr. Belinski paid his bill and drove out with a
smile on his face.
Why couldn't he deal with his marriage difficulties as neatly as he dealt with his customer's problem
this morning? If only he could hold his tongue when he and Karen have disagreements. Over the
years, things had gotten out of hand. Arguments percolate for days. Disagreements fester and both
feel that giving in means taking a back seat, a sign of weakness
If you were Jim Stevens' friend, what would you tell him about marriage, about how two people
live together in love and harmony, about how two people handle the joys and struggles of life?
You could start out by saying that a Christian marriage is more than an experiment in Let's-Make-a-
Deal. It's a union of a man and a woman founded on mutual respect, a determination to succeed,
and a resiliency established though faith in Jesus. It has a rock to cling to, and guidance from
someone who knows them better than they know themselves. That rock and guidance is found in a
few simple words of Jesus: "Love each other as I have loved you" (l John 15:12).
Just a second! Plugging that passage into the context of wedding bells and nuptial vows is pushing
the envelope too far when it comes to arguments about who's going to clean the basement, take out
the garbage, pick the kids up from school, showing up at school functions, or . . . well ... you
know the drill.
There's no stretch here. Don't skip over the key phrase "as I have loved you." Jesus sets the love-
bar high. Love each other as I have loved you from before you were born, from before the world
was set in place, from eternity. Love each other as I have loved you as the apple of my eye. Love
each other as I have loved you as the one who humbled himself for you, as the one who died for
you, as the one who watches over you night and day.
The Cornerstone of Marriage
The cornerstone of a Christian marriage is neither difficult to describe nor tough to understand.
God didn't say, "Feel good about one another;" he said, "Love one another." It's a love that indulges
itself in the happiness of the other. A love proud to serve and eager to forgive. A love that fulfils its
own needs by satisfying the needs of another. Like peanut butter and jelly, a sheep and its wool, a
stamp on an envelope, husband and wife come together to become something they could not be
alone.
Look for Emotion in Marriage-Love
Of course there's emotion in that kind of love, but it's not focused on emotion alone. Raw emotion
demands thrills, excitement and stimulation, all of which change with age and circumstances. Look
for something besides emotion.
Look for Sacrifice in Marriage-Love
God didn't direct us to be involved with another other, but to give our time, our effort, our money,
and often our dreams to form a single organism the like of which cannot be found any where else
in the world. The two blend as molecules of water merge to form a stream. But when the stream
becomes a torrent, one molecule doesn't turn to another and say, "It was your fault we went over
that cliff."
In a union based on Christian love, there are miracles and marvels, supernatural efforts by sinners,
unusual accomplishments by ordinary mortals, and exceptional sacrifices by humble people. A love
that puts itself last finds itself first. A love that humbles itself is exalted. A sacrificial love is big.
Just like God's love is BIG. A BIG love performs miracles.
• Love can forgive sins
• Love can take a back seat
• Love can bind a broken heart
• Love can heal wounds that fester
• Love can start a quarrel and end one
• Love can speak volumes without uttering a sound
• Love can bring two people together and make them one.
Look for Commitment in Marriage-Love
In the thirteenth chapter of First Corinthians, notice how Paul describes a combination of positives
and negatives that dedicates lovers to each other and fills their hearts to the brim.
"Love is patient, love is kind.
"It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
"It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. "Love
does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
"It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. "Love never fails."
Look for Sharing in Marriage-Love
A man loves his wife as he loves and cares for himself. He looks upon her, not as housekeeper,
cook, or nanny, but as an equal partner with whom he shares the duties and joys of life. The
presence of sharing love renders the lover vulnerable to the loved one, and so places responsibility
for one's hopes, dreams, and happiness on the heart of another. Solomon puts it this way: "I am my
lover's and my lover is mine" (Song of Solomon 6:3).
A Marriage Union Is Based on Choice
In a union based on Christian love, there are miracles and marvels, supernatural efforts by sinners,
uncommon accomplishments by ordinary mortals, and exceptional sacrifices by humble people. A
love that forsakes pride is exalted. A love that puts itself last finds itself first. How does this
happen? By osmosis? By magic? No, by choice. You didn't expect that, did you? We don't think
about love as a choice. We think of it as an emotion, a sentiment, a feeling, something that happens
because another person deserves it or is worthy of our love. Listen again to Jesus: "Love each other
as I have loved you." Don't gloss over those important words - as I have loved you.
Does God love the world because it is a beautiful place decorated with stunning mountains, luscious
green fields, and sheltered valleys? Or because it belongs to him? Does Jesus love the world
because it repents of its sins of neglect, idolatry, and hedonism, and turns to him for forgiveness?
Does Jesus love you and me because we are respected church members, model citizens, and loyal
patriots who vote in every election? Perhaps it's because we are carefree and happy when we come
home from work and never kick the cat after a bad day. Ridiculous.
Jesus came into the world to claim us as his children because his love prompted him to do so. It
was his choice. Did you ever hear Jesus say, "I will love you when you repent of your sins, or
when you worship me more often, or when you show more respect to your fellow man?" Love
won't pressure you to do something, or anything. It will prompt, encourage, and strengthen, but
never force. It is a power to reproduce itself and the more it is exercised, the stronger it becomes.
"As I have loved you" anticipates a love that can be learned, nurtured and toughened. Love offers
choices with many faces.
• I choose to be faithful to my mate.
• I choose to trust my mate.
• I choose to speak in love to my mate.
• I choose to forgive my mate.
• I choose to be kind and considerate to my mate.
• I choose to be patient with my mate.
• I choose to support my mate in their endeavors.
• I choose to grow in mind and spirit with my mate.
• I choose to honor my mate above all others.
• I choose to apply a sense of humor to life.
• I choose that which makes my mate proud of me.
• I choose to be my spouse's mate the rest of my life!
The joining of submissive love and loving submission requires more than a experiment by two sinful
people highlighted by sporadic attempts at tolerance. No one can fulfill the requirements of Jesus
without Jesus. Only the husband who looks to the Savior for example and to the Holy Spirit for
guidance, can develop the depth of love that prompts the sacrifice necessary in a God-pleasing
marriage. Only the wife who looks to the Savior for example and to the Holy Spirit for guidance,
can develop the sympathy, forgiveness, and understanding required of a true helpmeet.
It's not always easy
To change regrets into rejoicing.
To comfort a failing with forgiveness.
To renew a sputtering love
But it always pays.
"idiot" customer, Mr. Belinski. Jim is Service Manager at a car dealership, and a good one. He
listens to his customers and understands the problem before he agrees to the repairs.
This morning Mr. Belinski, one of his regulars, requested a certain repair to quiet a noise in his car.
Jim was certain the customer was wrong and the challenge to his expertise frustrated him. To
avoid a confrontation, however, Jim went ahead with the work order and when he assigned the job,
he told the mechanic how to correct the problem. Mr. Belinski paid his bill and drove out with a
smile on his face.
Why couldn't he deal with his marriage difficulties as neatly as he dealt with his customer's problem
this morning? If only he could hold his tongue when he and Karen have disagreements. Over the
years, things had gotten out of hand. Arguments percolate for days. Disagreements fester and both
feel that giving in means taking a back seat, a sign of weakness
If you were Jim Stevens' friend, what would you tell him about marriage, about how two people
live together in love and harmony, about how two people handle the joys and struggles of life?
You could start out by saying that a Christian marriage is more than an experiment in Let's-Make-a-
Deal. It's a union of a man and a woman founded on mutual respect, a determination to succeed,
and a resiliency established though faith in Jesus. It has a rock to cling to, and guidance from
someone who knows them better than they know themselves. That rock and guidance is found in a
few simple words of Jesus: "Love each other as I have loved you" (l John 15:12).
Just a second! Plugging that passage into the context of wedding bells and nuptial vows is pushing
the envelope too far when it comes to arguments about who's going to clean the basement, take out
the garbage, pick the kids up from school, showing up at school functions, or . . . well ... you
know the drill.
There's no stretch here. Don't skip over the key phrase "as I have loved you." Jesus sets the love-
bar high. Love each other as I have loved you from before you were born, from before the world
was set in place, from eternity. Love each other as I have loved you as the apple of my eye. Love
each other as I have loved you as the one who humbled himself for you, as the one who died for
you, as the one who watches over you night and day.
The Cornerstone of Marriage
The cornerstone of a Christian marriage is neither difficult to describe nor tough to understand.
God didn't say, "Feel good about one another;" he said, "Love one another." It's a love that indulges
itself in the happiness of the other. A love proud to serve and eager to forgive. A love that fulfils its
own needs by satisfying the needs of another. Like peanut butter and jelly, a sheep and its wool, a
stamp on an envelope, husband and wife come together to become something they could not be
alone.
Look for Emotion in Marriage-Love
Of course there's emotion in that kind of love, but it's not focused on emotion alone. Raw emotion
demands thrills, excitement and stimulation, all of which change with age and circumstances. Look
for something besides emotion.
Look for Sacrifice in Marriage-Love
God didn't direct us to be involved with another other, but to give our time, our effort, our money,
and often our dreams to form a single organism the like of which cannot be found any where else
in the world. The two blend as molecules of water merge to form a stream. But when the stream
becomes a torrent, one molecule doesn't turn to another and say, "It was your fault we went over
that cliff."
In a union based on Christian love, there are miracles and marvels, supernatural efforts by sinners,
unusual accomplishments by ordinary mortals, and exceptional sacrifices by humble people. A love
that puts itself last finds itself first. A love that humbles itself is exalted. A sacrificial love is big.
Just like God's love is BIG. A BIG love performs miracles.
• Love can forgive sins
• Love can take a back seat
• Love can bind a broken heart
• Love can heal wounds that fester
• Love can start a quarrel and end one
• Love can speak volumes without uttering a sound
• Love can bring two people together and make them one.
Look for Commitment in Marriage-Love
In the thirteenth chapter of First Corinthians, notice how Paul describes a combination of positives
and negatives that dedicates lovers to each other and fills their hearts to the brim.
"Love is patient, love is kind.
"It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
"It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. "Love
does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
"It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. "Love never fails."
Look for Sharing in Marriage-Love
A man loves his wife as he loves and cares for himself. He looks upon her, not as housekeeper,
cook, or nanny, but as an equal partner with whom he shares the duties and joys of life. The
presence of sharing love renders the lover vulnerable to the loved one, and so places responsibility
for one's hopes, dreams, and happiness on the heart of another. Solomon puts it this way: "I am my
lover's and my lover is mine" (Song of Solomon 6:3).
A Marriage Union Is Based on Choice
In a union based on Christian love, there are miracles and marvels, supernatural efforts by sinners,
uncommon accomplishments by ordinary mortals, and exceptional sacrifices by humble people. A
love that forsakes pride is exalted. A love that puts itself last finds itself first. How does this
happen? By osmosis? By magic? No, by choice. You didn't expect that, did you? We don't think
about love as a choice. We think of it as an emotion, a sentiment, a feeling, something that happens
because another person deserves it or is worthy of our love. Listen again to Jesus: "Love each other
as I have loved you." Don't gloss over those important words - as I have loved you.
Does God love the world because it is a beautiful place decorated with stunning mountains, luscious
green fields, and sheltered valleys? Or because it belongs to him? Does Jesus love the world
because it repents of its sins of neglect, idolatry, and hedonism, and turns to him for forgiveness?
Does Jesus love you and me because we are respected church members, model citizens, and loyal
patriots who vote in every election? Perhaps it's because we are carefree and happy when we come
home from work and never kick the cat after a bad day. Ridiculous.
Jesus came into the world to claim us as his children because his love prompted him to do so. It
was his choice. Did you ever hear Jesus say, "I will love you when you repent of your sins, or
when you worship me more often, or when you show more respect to your fellow man?" Love
won't pressure you to do something, or anything. It will prompt, encourage, and strengthen, but
never force. It is a power to reproduce itself and the more it is exercised, the stronger it becomes.
"As I have loved you" anticipates a love that can be learned, nurtured and toughened. Love offers
choices with many faces.
• I choose to be faithful to my mate.
• I choose to trust my mate.
• I choose to speak in love to my mate.
• I choose to forgive my mate.
• I choose to be kind and considerate to my mate.
• I choose to be patient with my mate.
• I choose to support my mate in their endeavors.
• I choose to grow in mind and spirit with my mate.
• I choose to honor my mate above all others.
• I choose to apply a sense of humor to life.
• I choose that which makes my mate proud of me.
• I choose to be my spouse's mate the rest of my life!
The joining of submissive love and loving submission requires more than a experiment by two sinful
people highlighted by sporadic attempts at tolerance. No one can fulfill the requirements of Jesus
without Jesus. Only the husband who looks to the Savior for example and to the Holy Spirit for
guidance, can develop the depth of love that prompts the sacrifice necessary in a God-pleasing
marriage. Only the wife who looks to the Savior for example and to the Holy Spirit for guidance,
can develop the sympathy, forgiveness, and understanding required of a true helpmeet.
It's not always easy
To change regrets into rejoicing.
To comfort a failing with forgiveness.
To renew a sputtering love
But it always pays.
| A Touch of Comfort Cheer and Consolation from the Bible |
Comfort for
Today
Today
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| Marriage or a Merry-Go-Round? |
| The first rule of marriage is that sinners live there. |
| A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day. -- Andre Maurois |
| A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Mignon McLaughlin |
| Your Comments are welcome |